Francoise Redux

She looked like Anne Hathaway. Tall, dark haired, big eyes and a beautiful smile. And best of all, she spoke perfect English.

Backing up a bit. The day started with David and I once again relying on Francoise, our GPS lady, to direct us out of town. We were headed to Mougins for a week. Francoise wouldn’t let us leave Aix. Her display was stuck on Rue de Juvenal, a street close to the Aix condo. David kept driving and Francoise was uncharacteristically quiet.

Listen Frenchie, I said to her. I’m sick of your flakiness! Get us out of town or else! I poked a finger at the display, hoping to intimidate her into submission.

I don’t think she heard me anyway. David had disconnected her, thinking a reboot might help. He reprogrammed her and she finally complied. Then she said,  In .3 miles, take the second exit at the next roundabout. Yeah, yeah, I’d heard THAT before about 5,267 times!

We decided to program Francoise for Cassis so we could see this cozy French seaside town. Only when we got there, we couldn’t find parking on a Saturday afternoon. None. We were a bit disappointed, as we’d hoped to stop for lunch. Francoise guided us back to the A8 highway. I think I detected a note of sympathy in her voice.

Our next challenge was the toll booths. I have to admit, I hadn’t researched this at all so every toll was a surprise grab at the coins we kept in the Volvo’s console. As we approached one major toll booth, David turned to me and said, Where’s the ticket? I didn’t see a ticket—anywhere. My God, we’ve lost the ticket! We were inching closer to the toll booth and I could hear the Jaws theme pounding in my head. We searched and searched. Nothing.

I’m pretty sure I had a heart attack right there and then came back to life. At the last moment, David exclaimed, You’re sitting on the ticket!! OMG. There it was with two cars to go. The toll ended up being 13 Euros something. We were scrambling to count coins. No wonder the roads are so nice in France.

We arrived in Mougins and that’s when it fell apart. Francoise was certain that we needed to turn RIGHT onto Paul Robert Place to get to our hotel. The fact that it was a one-way street going the other way didn’t seem to phase her. We actually drove part way down the street and then backed out again. Now we were lost. Mon Dieu!

Luckily we were near a Mougins tourism office, so we parked and walked to it. A beautiful girl sat at a desk behind the counter. She reminded us of Anne Hathaway (if Anne lived in France.) She was talking rapidly on the phone. No one else was in the office.

When she came up to the counter, I asked her Parlez-vous Anglais? She smiled and said, Yes, I speak English. We asked her where Club Mougins (our hotel) was. And just then, another couple entered the office and said, You’re looking for Club Mougins? We are too! Anne smiled and took out a map, then highlighted for all of us the route we needed to take. I bet she gets this question a hundred times a day!

We arrived at Club Mougins and checked in. The accommodations are okay but after the Aix condo, almost anything would be a step down. We have a small one-bedroom, one-bathroom apartment with a very narrow kitchen and a nice balcony from which we can enjoy the mild sunny weather. The hotel’s public areas, including the guest lounge (where there is wifi!) are great. The bed is too hard, though. And I already miss Aix.

View from our balcony in Mougins